I blinked and suddenly sophomore year is over.
I meant to write a post about this earlier, but I’ve been so busy with my summer activities. I’ve been working about 22-28 hours per week, taking both double bass and voice lessons, am preparing for a studio recital, practicing bass and piano, learning new songs for guitar, reading, and planning the vacation to Canada that I just got back from. So yeah, I’ve been really tired.
Looking back on my sophomore year is interesting, to say the least. I can officially say that all four semesters at Baldwin Wallace, I made the Dean’s List. However, this semester I wasn’t as excited about that, as I received an A- in my music theory class when I had been expecting an A+. I received an A+ last semester, after all, and I didn’t do nearly as well on my quizzes and homeworks as I did this semester. However, my professor didn’t seem to like the Schumann analysis I wrote (which was the most detailed analysis I have ever done) and gave me a 90% on it… which kept me less than .4 points from an A. I know it is immature for me to be ranting about this, but I am just so confused as to how I did so much better this semester (receiving 100s and greater on almost all of my quizzes, mostly As on my exams, all As on my keyboards, almost all As on my homeworks, and a 94 on the other, much less detailed analysis I wrote earlier in the semester) and somehow did… worse. That was one of my most challenging classes that I worked so hard for. So I don’t know. I just don’t feel like I can really celebrate my Dean’s List placement knowing that I barely made the cut.
Otherwise, this last semester particularly was great. I had some of the best classmates, and I will genuinely miss learning with them when I am at Cleveland State this upcoming school year. We have all grown from barely knowing each other and being insecure in our abilities to performing in operas, getting accepted into summer programs and transfer programs (I am officially working toward my B.M. now!), and being featured soloists. Also, in my opinion, BW Con’s Class of 2021 felt a lot like a family. Even though I was a sophomore and not even officially a Con major, I felt like one of them (which, age-wise, I actually am– about 1/2 of the class was older than me).
I made some friends that I am still in contact with. My freshman year, I had a few acquaintances and only about three people I would have considered friends. This year, I became really close with a percussionist after she helped me practice for my eurhythmics appraisal that I had been panicking about (which, thanks to her, I got a 100%). Through her, I became closer with other people I had already known from freshman year choir and MTx class, but didn’t know too well. They invited me to hang out with them quite a few times, and it really meant a lot to me. I also felt a deep connection with the women in my treble choir this year. Sigh. It was so easy to decide to leave when I didn’t have a reason to want to stay.
However, the end of my sophomore year is more than just the realization of being (ideally) halfway through college. It is more than realizing that I will turn twenty in November. If there’s anything I’ve learned with two years of college under my belt, it’s that time moves very fast. I don’t have time to be afraid to audition for that solo anymore. I don’t have time to skip out on a party because I’ve locked myself in a practice room on a Saturday. I don’t have time to surround myself with lots of acquaintances and only a few friends. Time moves fast, and before I know it, I won’t be in college anymore. Hopefully, within the next three years I’ll be an intern somewhere in Hawai’i (…or Cleveland) living my dreams. However, these college years are supposed to be the best of my life. If I want to have a better social life, I have to allow myself to live outside of the music building and my bed.
And so my goal as I move toward my remaining years of undergrad is to live more. I know that I have the grades to succeed, so now it’s time to live. It’s time to bridge the gap between who I am and who I want to be, and I hope that you will do the same.
“The tension is here between who you are and who you could be, between how it is and how it should be… move like today never happened before.”
-Switchfoot, ‘I Dare You to Move’